House MD S4:Memorable quips

He makes fun of me. but I'm a big fan of your aqua velva commercials.他在開我玩笑，不過我更欣賞你的繞口令表演。[@more@]

Only if you count Jenna Jameson’s autobiography as a gynecological text.

He drilled a hole in your skull after drinking your pee. I think he’s up for this.

Who told you it’d be a good idea to put up superficial representations of a hypocritical season celebrating a mythical figure? It’s a Wonderful Lie.

You got three choices in life: be good, get good or give up. You’ve gone for column D; why? The simple answer is: if you don’t try, you can’t fail. Are you really that simple?

Clinic’s been quarantined. Patient came in complaining of avian flu like symptoms. And fifty extra dollars in spending money.

Pretty sure there’s no irony-body connection. But it’d be ironic if there was.

You were doing better before you had a good idea.

I’ve heard not all lawyers are as ethical as the ones we see on TV.

I need you to bring me the thong of Lisa Cuddy.

You handed over her panties（panty）; Don’t think gallantry's an option at this point.

Cole has traveled through the forest of crustaceans to bring us a treasure.

Can I stare at your wardrobe and question your ass?

The less obvious point is, I need my team to be unafraid of the metaphorical fart.

My eyes look better in rooms with summer colors.

Because she’s got way more diagnostic experience than the other swimsuit models I was considering.

If you want fair, you picked the wrong job, and the wrong profession. And the wrong species.

You let her greedy fingers right into my cookie jar. Which, sadly, is not as dirty as it sounds.

You’re right about me being wrong and wrong about you being right.

You think your dad wants to kill you because you’re so ugly? Be grateful, anywhere else in the animal kingdom, your parents would have eaten you at birth.

Did you just insult me in Pig Latin?

My malpractice insurance doesn’t cover alien autopsies.

Horse chestnuts may look like chestnuts, but they taste like a horse’s lower-than-chest-nuts. Which makes the idea he accidentally ate a couple hundred ridiculous.

Does the ‘I’ in CIA stand for Irony?

I’m sorry, who you gonna marginalize? If it’s the housekeeper, she’s got it coming. Cleaning windows means cleaning both sides.

They got a satellite aimed directly into Cuddy’s vagina. I told them the chances of invasion are slim to none。

Any country with that low an age of consent but that high a rate of suicide isn’t thinking straight. 任何一個擁有低滿足感和高自殺率的國家都沒有用腦子想問題。

Someone’s gonna be miserable sometime. Accept it. That’s how I stay so happy.

So now you’ve electrocuted yourself and set a patient on fire. I like the dedication.

People don’t learn; people don’t change. But you did. You’re a freak.

I’m a jerk to everyone. Best way to protect yourself from lawsuits.

Have you guys heard any of my metaphors yet? Well come on, sit on grandpa’s lap as I tell you how infections are criminals; immune system’s the police. Seriously Grumpy, get up here, it’ll make us both happy.

You actually think I’d take a patient who had a seizure in a funeral home if the ER hadn’t already ruled out embalming fluid?

Just a little piece of the brain. Seemed a waste, the guy wasn’t using it anymore.

Does my breath smell bated to you?

If your organs dangle, you’re the confederates. If your sex organs are aesthetically pleasing, you’re the yanks.

So we have a new symptom to explain; why does his throat think his lungs are his stomach?

Suddenly you’re shy? You pooped your pants in front of me. One of the nasty side-effects of dying.

You don’t think non-answers tell me anything.

Cervical lymph node is a garbage dump. Very small one; just one truck comes; and it only comes from one home. Al Gore would be appalled.

Oh God, I’m tired of hearing that argument. I don’t have to go to Detroit to know it smells.

You may not have legs, but you have ears. I suggest you use them.

Oh Yeah, twenty minutes in my office schmoozing about their love of Algerian surfing movies is a much better system.

Luckily violence isn’t the last resort. Extortion is. Go ahead. Extort her.

Dr. Cuddy -- the face that launched a thousand long faces.

Clinic’s been quarantined. Patient came in complaining of avian flu like symptoms. And fifty extra dollars in spending money.

I’ve heard not all lAi WeiQuanyers are as ethical as the ones we see on TV.

Pretty sure there’s no irony-body connection. But it’d be ironic if there was.