最終來說,Gatsby愛上的不是Daisy,而是他念念不忘的美國夢。他追求Daisy,就是為了追求他的夢。
這一段寫得非常深刻和優美。我把中英對照的全文都貼在下面。我認為優美的英語句子,都用黑體標出來了。
=====================================
It was this night that he told me the strange story of his youth with Dan Cody--told it to me because "Jay Gatsby." had broken up like glass against Tom's hard malice, and the long secret extravaganza was played out. I think that he would have acknowledged anything now, without reserve, but he wanted to talk about Daisy.
就是這天夜裡,他把他跟丹·科迪度過的年輕時代的離奇故事告訴了我,因為"傑伊·蓋茨比"已經像玻璃一樣在湯姆的鐵硬的惡意上碰得粉碎,那出漫長的秘密狂想劇也演完了。我想他這時什麼都可以毫無保留地承認,但他只想談黛西的事。
She was the first "nice" girl he had ever known. In various unrevealed capacities he had come in contact with such people, but always with indiscernible barbed wire between. He found her excitingly desirable. He went to her house, at first with other officers from Camp Taylor, then alone. It amazed him--he had never been in such a beautiful house before. but what gave it an air of breathless intensity, was that Daisy lived there--it was as casual a thing to her as his tent out at camp was to him. There was a ripe mystery about it,a hint of bedrooms up-stairs more beautiful and cool than other bedrooms, of gay and radiant activities taking place through its corridors, and of romances that were not musty and laid away already in lavender but fresh and breathing and redolent of this year's shining motor-cars and of dances whose flowers were scarcely withered. It excited him, too, that many men had already loved Daisy--it increased her value in his eyes. He felt their presence all about the house,pervading the air with the shades and echoes of still vibrant emotions.
她是他所認識的第一個"大家閨秀"。他以前以各種未透露的身份電曾和這一類人接觸過,但每次總有一層無形的鐵絲網隔在中間。他為她神魂顛倒。他到她家裡去,起先和泰勒營的其他軍官一起去,後來單獨前往。她的家使他驚異----他從來沒進過這樣美麗的住宅,但是其所以有一種扣人心絃的強烈的情凋卻是因為她住在那裡----這房子對於她就像他在軍營裡的帳篷對於他一樣地平淡無奇。這房子充滿了引人入勝的神秘氣氛,彷彿暗示樓上有許多比其他臥室都美麗而涼爽的臥室,走廊裡到處都是賞心樂事,還有許多風流豔史----不是黴烘烘、用薰香草儲存起來的,而是活生生的,使人聯想到今年的雪亮的汽車-聯想到鮮花還沒凋謝的舞會-很多男人曾經愛過黛西。這也使他激動----這在他眼中增高了她的身價,他感到她家裡到處都有他們的存在。空氣中瀰漫著仍然顫動的感情的陰影和回聲。
But he knew that he was in Daisy's house by a colossal accident.However glorious might be his future as Jay Gatsby, he was at present apenniless young man without a past, and at any moment the invisible cloak of his uniform might slip from his shoulders. So he made the mostof his time. He took what he could get, ravenously and unscrupulously--eventually he took Daisy one still October night, took her because he hadno real right to touch her hand.
但是,他明白他之所以能出入黛西家裡純粹是出於偶然,不管他作為傑伊·蓋茨比會有何等的錦繡前程,目前他只是一個默默無聞、一文不名的青年人,而且他的軍服----這件看不見的外衣隨時都可能從他肩上滑落下來。因此地盡所利用他的時間,他佔有了他所能得到的東西,狼吞點咽,肆無忌憚----終於在一個靜寂的十月的夜晚他佔有了黛西,佔有了她,正因為他並沒有否正的權利去摸她的手。
He might have despised himself, for he had certainly taken her under false pretenses. I don't mean that he had traded on his phantom millions, but he had deliberately given Daisy a sense of security; he let her believe that he was a person from much the same stratum as herself--that he was fully able to take care of her. As a matter of fact, he had no such facilities--he had no comfortable family standing behind him, and he was liable at the whim of an impersonal governmentto be blown anywhere about the world.
他也許應該鄙視自己的,因為他確實用欺騙的手段佔有了她,我不是說他利用了他那虛幻的百萬家財。但是他有意給黛西造成一種安全感,讓她相信他的出身跟她不相上下----相信他完全能夠照料她。實際上,他並沒有這種能力----他背後沒有生活優裕的家庭撐腰,而且只要全無人情味的政府一聲令下,他隨時都可以被調到世界上任何地方去。
But he didn't despise himself and it didn't turn out as he had imagined. He had intended, probably, to take what he could and go--but now he found that he had committed himself to the following of a grail.He knew that Daisy was extraordinary, but he didn't realize just how extraordinary a "nice" girl could be. She vanished into her richh ouse, into her rich, full life, leaving Gatsby--nothing. He felt married to her, that was all.
但是他並沒有鄙視自己,事情的結果也出乎他的意料。他起初很可能打算及時行樂,然後一走了之----但是現在他發現他已經把自己獻身於追求一種理想。他知道黛西不間尋常,但是他並沒認識到一位"大家閨秀"究竟有多少不同尋常。她回到她那豪華的住宅裡,回到她那豐富美滿的生活,突然不見了,給蓋茨比什麼也沒留下。他覺得他已經和她結了婚了,如此而已。
When they met again, two days later, it was Gatsby who was breathless,who was, somehow, betrayed. Her porch was bright with the bought luxury of star-shine; the wicker of the settee squeaked fashionably as she turned toward him and he kissed her curious and lovely mouth.She had caught a cold, and it made her voice huskier and more charming than ever, and Gatsby was overwhelmingly aware of the youth and mystery that wealth imprisons and preserves, of the freshness of many clothes,and of Daisy, gleaming like silver, safe and proud above the hot struggles of the poor.
兩天之後,他們倆再見面時,顯得心慌意亂,似乎上當受騙的倒是蓋茨比。她家涼臺沐浴在燦爛的星光裡。她轉身讓他吻她那張奇妙、可愛的嘴時,時髦的長靠椅的柳條吱吱作響,她看了涼,她的聲音比平時更沙啞,更動人。蓋茨比深切地體會到財富怎樣禁甸和儲存青春與神秘,體會到一套套衣裝怎樣使人保持清析,體會到黛西像白銀一樣皎皎發光,安然高踞於窮苦人激烈的生存鬥爭之上。
"I can't describe to you how surprised I was to find out I loved her,old sport. I even hoped for a while that she'd throw me over, but she didn't, because she was in love with me too. She thought I knew a lot because I knew different things from her. . . . Well, there I was,'way off my ambitions, getting deeper in love every minute, and all of a sudden I didn't care. What was the use of doing great things if I could have a better time telling her what I was going to do?"
我沒法向你形容我發現自己愛上了她以後感到多麼驚訝,老兄。有一陣我甚至希望她把我甩掉,但她沒有,因為她也愛我。她認為我懂很多事,因為我懂的和她懂的不一樣......唉,我就是那樣,把雄心壯志撇在一邊,每一分鐘都在情網"越陷越深,而且忽然之間我也什麼都不在乎了。如果我能夠告訴她我打算去做些什麼而從中得到更大的快樂,那麼又何必去做大事呢?"
On the last afternoon before he went abroad, he sat with Daisyin his arms for a long, silent time. It was a cold fall day, with firein the room and her cheeks flushed. Now and then she moved and hechanged his arm a little, and once he kissed her dark shining hair. The afternoon had made them tranquil for a while, as if to give them a deep memory for the long parting the next day promised. They had never been closer in their month of love, nor communicated more profoundly one with another, than when she brushed silent lips against his coat's shoulder or when he touched the end of her fingers, gently, as though she were asleep.
在他動身到海外之前的最後一個下午,他摟著黛西默默地坐了很長的時間。那是一個寒冷的秋日,屋子裡生了火,她的兩頰烘得通紅。她不時移動一下,他也微微挪動一同胳臂,有一次他還吻吻她那烏黑光亮的頭髮。下午已經使他們平靜了一會,彷彿為了在他們記憶中留下一個深刻的印象,為第二天即將開始的長遠的分離做好準備。她用無言的嘴唇拂過地上衣的肩頭,或者他溫柔地碰一碰她的指尖,彷彿她是在睡夢之中,他倆在這一月的相愛中從來沒有像這樣親密過,也從來沒有像這樣深刻地互通衷曲。